On Being Who I Am

On Being Who I Am

Author Dawna Markova wrote one of my favorite books: I Will Not Die an Unlived Life: Reclaiming Purpose and Passion. I read it more years ago than I can remember. Yet every aspect of Markova’s writings resonates with me, among them these words: I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which came to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which came to me as blossom, goes on as fruit. The path to discovering what fed my soul began with art. I sketched neighbors’ faces when a wee one. By high school, every artistic medium was in my portfolio. I dreamed of leaving Richmond, Virginia, my family, painful memories, and traveling across the waters to Paris, France. My parents thought I was crazy and said, “You are not going to France; you are staying in Richmond and going to Virginia Union University.” Spirit-broken and trapped in a life, not of my choosing, I vowed never to do anything artistic again. Yet, art was in me because art was not just a paintbrush or a palette. Art was how I thought and felt. My imagination soared no matter what I undertook. I failed miserably at attempts to work in restrictive, groupthink environments. Yet, I saw beauty in that seen and imagined, put ideas together without restrictive thinking, and celebrated...